Being a whimsy as I am I often tend to indulge myself into something or the other. It can be learning a new language or travelling to new places or something else. As of now it's poetry. And surprisingly it's been a month and I am still not over it. Hope it lasts long. :-)
So where it all started? I don't know about others but I am definite that each and every bengali has tried their hands on writing at least once in their lives. I can't remember when did I first start writing. I remember I used to write only rhymed poems for a long time, that too very silly and childish. My free verse started with Mama's effort. I am not sure why he thought I was worth spending time on, as I can't find any good in my old writings. But it was a good effort I have to say. When I was in my Ninth class, just after we have moved to Barrackpore I wrote my first free verse poem. And I still find it good. :-D
Now, I am always one of those who can't be sure about even their own headache unless somebody else confirms it. So I needed validator. At first my whole family had to become so, thanks to my whining. As a loving and affectionate family they always found my work good. And I too started thinking the same. Then in college some of my friends were added to this validator's list. Mainly Pamela and Prosen. But then again Prosen finds anything and everything good in this world. And Pamela and others.......well they criticized, but never to the point where I could think that I am not good enough.
But the truth is deep down inside I always knew I am not good enough. That's why I never tried to publish-not just in a big platform, even in my college magazine I never tried to put it. Because as false as it was to consider myself to be a good poet, I never wanted to come out of that dream. And I still don't. At the end of the day how you are feeling should matter not what you've achieved. And for me I know it feels good to have this belief in my heart that I am a poet, even if I am not.
