You are new...there are secrets kept from you, there are things assumed that you won't understand..worse, some of them you actually don't understand. You need to prove yourself-once again-to a new set of crowd. You need to be accepted and learn to accept. And hardest part, you need to let go the past and be a intense part of the new system.YOU- are the new kid now.
Back in school when I started my education I was a new kid, maybe along with a bunch of other new kids, but couldn't give so much of a thought back then. My first class, first teacher, first friend- Everything was introduced to me breaking the fear I was cultivating in myself against the 'new's for years. In four years time high school came into picture. And once again from the senior most students of primary school we became the junior most in our new school. And it kept continuing throughout my educational life. And every time it was as scary to me as it was at the first time.
The one I remember most was school to college. Me and my best friend back then spent an evening by the river Ganges anticipating and dreading at the same time of what tomorrow might bring to us. And then during the principals lecture on my first day of college I drooled back into the same thought and decided it's gonna be the toughest three years of my life.Turned out I was wrong. They were the best three years of my life, at least till now.
Moving to IIT was tough, but fear didn't play so much at that time. It was more of the grief of leaving home and family and the beloved friends. IIT stands for a lot of things to me-sometimes the beauty of it, sometimes the frustration I had to go through, sometimes the freedom, sometimes the unwanted changes and so many other things-all at the same time. End of IIT brought new hope. A job! and a new fear-A job at Mumbai!
The last few days at home before leaving for Mumbai was full of doubts and confusions. And although I got to spend only a handful of days at home, it felt like ages. It was a big phase for me. And it wasn't just over when I started with my job. To be honest it became even scarier. I remember I felt like crying, but wasn't sure if I was supposed to.
On the day of our induction, which went for almost 5-6 hours I was sitting in that NESCO conference room along with 14-15 other new joinees and was feeling like grabbing all my stuffs and just running away from that place. I didn't. And I still don't know whether it would have been a big mistake to do so.
The job didn't trouble much. But the surrounding did....the crowd of Mumbai, where no one counts, and all I was left with corporate friends. And sincerely I feel 'corporate friend' is an antonym of friend. For next two months or so I was struggling to settle down. And when I went home for the first time from Mumbai I didn't want to be back to the city,to the job, to the nothingness of my life.
But that too is now a long time back. I have evolved through time since then and there's not much I repent anymore. But then why am I reminiscing all these again?
Well, it's because I am feeling it again.
The fear, the challenge, the pretense of confidence, the fight against the change.... all of it!
Maybe it's not so prominent anymore, maybe I have learnt how to hide it in myself...but it's there within me mixed up and beating up and down to make me feel it's presence...
And all these feelings only stand for one thing- Yes, I am the new kid again!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Had a bad day!
I had a pretty bad day today. Not that something bad happened to me. It's just one of those days where you play along for the whole day very well and at night you feel like you didn't play your role right. I played it very bad in fact. I don't know what I did or why I did, I just know I did it all wrong. Or I didn't like the way I did it.
So anyway, I planned it to end sooner and headed back to bed at 1. It didn't work out either. So here I am back at 2:30 AM, writing a blog with no clue of whatsoever.
But since I don't have anything to write about, so I'll just post the poem (not sure if it can be called a poem), I wrote 15 mins back. It might be the worst creation of mine (or anyone), but then again it's very much from my heart. So hear it goes:
Leave me alone!
So anyway, I planned it to end sooner and headed back to bed at 1. It didn't work out either. So here I am back at 2:30 AM, writing a blog with no clue of whatsoever.
But since I don't have anything to write about, so I'll just post the poem (not sure if it can be called a poem), I wrote 15 mins back. It might be the worst creation of mine (or anyone), but then again it's very much from my heart. So hear it goes:
Leave me alone!
No, I don't care if your life sucks, and please don't mention how much.
I don't care who your recent crush is, even if it's working
and even if it's not!
I don't want to hear what you did last Christmas
or on Diwali or on any festival.
I don't want to know how different you are-
I am not the one you're dying to convince.
No, I am not angry for what you told this morning,
Just don't call me to apologize for that.
Maybe next time you wanna keep your mouth shut.
In fact I don't give a rat's shitty ass if you die or live,
or get all you ever wanted or become a king or something....
All I want is just leave me alone,
I know you're not doing any good to myself!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I want to feel something tonight...
It's a Wednesday night..3:30 am. I am not exactly sleepless, but still not willing to sleep.
I just got off a call from an old friend and the numbness after that created a thirst for feelings in me. Not sure if it happens to anyone else. I often feel this same emptiness inside of me, what makes me...well, let's say more empty.
I am not an emotional person on the basis of universal emotions. I spent lot of my awake moments just thinking about stuffs that shouldn't really matter to any living thing. I try to figure out something that doesn't require a solution. So when I finished the call and looked out of the window to see the deserted road with the street lights and the dark figure of the hill nearby, I felt nothing. I should have felt sorrow for my friend, upset for not being able to share it for longer, maybe even delighted that I can now go back to sleep. I thought of all these,but as I said earlier, I felt nothing.
I was just staring out of the window in the silence of my mind......
Have you ever listened to silence? Silence have a lots to say, it talks to me a lot. But the one word it keeps repeating is loneliness. I believe a person can know himself only half all by himself. For the rest half he needs to ask the people who loves them or hates them the most. So when you are alone for a long time you gradually forget yourself. You don't know who you are, what you can do and most of all why does that damn organ keep beating when no body's really there to listen to it. Well when you are alone you just dilute into never ending confusions about the world and yourself. Moreover you become insignificant to the world since you are not keeping account of anyone else's other half either. you just become YOU.
In this call that's keeping me awake, my friend told me he couldn't lie, when he had to. Well he simply can't lie. I noticed the won't in his can't. If you really think about it, all these lying, false admiring, sacrificing and even sometime thinking out your steps like playing a game is actually part of loving someone. As much as it sounds uncanny it's the way love works. When you say you can't lie, when you say you don't want to play it, that means you simply don't care enough to do all these. I know this because I CAN'T lie either.
I know none of these will make sense to anyone. In fact tomorrow morning when I wake up (hope I can), I bet it won't make any sense to me either. But tonight I had to feel something, I had to quench my thirst....and I felt this. Even if it doesn't make sense, I know it's a lovely feeling. It's a feeling for all those hearts all over the world who is slowly and gradually becoming a single letter I and it's a realization of how much they can be willing to be a part of WE, but simply can't figure out how! So am I...So is he....
I just got off a call from an old friend and the numbness after that created a thirst for feelings in me. Not sure if it happens to anyone else. I often feel this same emptiness inside of me, what makes me...well, let's say more empty.
I am not an emotional person on the basis of universal emotions. I spent lot of my awake moments just thinking about stuffs that shouldn't really matter to any living thing. I try to figure out something that doesn't require a solution. So when I finished the call and looked out of the window to see the deserted road with the street lights and the dark figure of the hill nearby, I felt nothing. I should have felt sorrow for my friend, upset for not being able to share it for longer, maybe even delighted that I can now go back to sleep. I thought of all these,but as I said earlier, I felt nothing.
I was just staring out of the window in the silence of my mind......
Have you ever listened to silence? Silence have a lots to say, it talks to me a lot. But the one word it keeps repeating is loneliness. I believe a person can know himself only half all by himself. For the rest half he needs to ask the people who loves them or hates them the most. So when you are alone for a long time you gradually forget yourself. You don't know who you are, what you can do and most of all why does that damn organ keep beating when no body's really there to listen to it. Well when you are alone you just dilute into never ending confusions about the world and yourself. Moreover you become insignificant to the world since you are not keeping account of anyone else's other half either. you just become YOU.
In this call that's keeping me awake, my friend told me he couldn't lie, when he had to. Well he simply can't lie. I noticed the won't in his can't. If you really think about it, all these lying, false admiring, sacrificing and even sometime thinking out your steps like playing a game is actually part of loving someone. As much as it sounds uncanny it's the way love works. When you say you can't lie, when you say you don't want to play it, that means you simply don't care enough to do all these. I know this because I CAN'T lie either.
I know none of these will make sense to anyone. In fact tomorrow morning when I wake up (hope I can), I bet it won't make any sense to me either. But tonight I had to feel something, I had to quench my thirst....and I felt this. Even if it doesn't make sense, I know it's a lovely feeling. It's a feeling for all those hearts all over the world who is slowly and gradually becoming a single letter I and it's a realization of how much they can be willing to be a part of WE, but simply can't figure out how! So am I...So is he....
Thursday, September 24, 2009
My countless time....
Time is a very strange thing to figure out. How much is past and how much you felt is never the same. It's so powerful that it can make you forget a very significant event and then again it can cheat you to the point that a in general insignificant thing can be so clear that it will feel like yesterday.
I was in the middle of packing today when I found a letter. First of all the packing is because I am going home for Pujo. And the letter was written by me on 23rd March 2007. To someone who was the recipient of my letters for a good part of my college life. Well clearly he never received this one. :)
Anyway the point is while reading this letter I remembered......well remember would be a wrong word...I came to know a lot of things that happened in my past. Some of them I vaguely recall, rest seem to be completely new. It was strange. It was strange because I still brag about how much I enjoyed in college, how fun it was to have so many good friends and of course Dhobighat. But...but I don't remember what I did back then. And I am definite I don't even resemble the same girl anymore. All I remember is I felt good, I felt happy.
Maybe at the end of the day that's all matters. Some happy moment or some sad moments. No one really care what are they built of. It's like remembering the taste of something you ate many years back at some wedding. You remember how much you liked it, but can't remember the taste. And sometime you just realised how long has it been. Time, you cheated me again. It's 2009......and if I referred to my college days as past in 2007........well it's really past now. A wonderful past I am still trying to hold on to.
I guess that's all I have to say about this today. I don't even know why did I write this blog. Mostly because it's not always when you feel something and there's an option of immediately letting it out. Anyway I should just get back to my packing and counting the days and months that are gone without realization. Amen! :-D
I was in the middle of packing today when I found a letter. First of all the packing is because I am going home for Pujo. And the letter was written by me on 23rd March 2007. To someone who was the recipient of my letters for a good part of my college life. Well clearly he never received this one. :)
Anyway the point is while reading this letter I remembered......well remember would be a wrong word...I came to know a lot of things that happened in my past. Some of them I vaguely recall, rest seem to be completely new. It was strange. It was strange because I still brag about how much I enjoyed in college, how fun it was to have so many good friends and of course Dhobighat. But...but I don't remember what I did back then. And I am definite I don't even resemble the same girl anymore. All I remember is I felt good, I felt happy.
Maybe at the end of the day that's all matters. Some happy moment or some sad moments. No one really care what are they built of. It's like remembering the taste of something you ate many years back at some wedding. You remember how much you liked it, but can't remember the taste. And sometime you just realised how long has it been. Time, you cheated me again. It's 2009......and if I referred to my college days as past in 2007........well it's really past now. A wonderful past I am still trying to hold on to.
I guess that's all I have to say about this today. I don't even know why did I write this blog. Mostly because it's not always when you feel something and there's an option of immediately letting it out. Anyway I should just get back to my packing and counting the days and months that are gone without realization. Amen! :-D
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
My almost poems
Being a whimsy as I am I often tend to indulge myself into something or the other. It can be learning a new language or travelling to new places or something else. As of now it's poetry. And surprisingly it's been a month and I am still not over it. Hope it lasts long. :-)
So where it all started? I don't know about others but I am definite that each and every bengali has tried their hands on writing at least once in their lives. I can't remember when did I first start writing. I remember I used to write only rhymed poems for a long time, that too very silly and childish. My free verse started with Mama's effort. I am not sure why he thought I was worth spending time on, as I can't find any good in my old writings. But it was a good effort I have to say. When I was in my Ninth class, just after we have moved to Barrackpore I wrote my first free verse poem. And I still find it good. :-D
Now, I am always one of those who can't be sure about even their own headache unless somebody else confirms it. So I needed validator. At first my whole family had to become so, thanks to my whining. As a loving and affectionate family they always found my work good. And I too started thinking the same. Then in college some of my friends were added to this validator's list. Mainly Pamela and Prosen. But then again Prosen finds anything and everything good in this world. And Pamela and others.......well they criticized, but never to the point where I could think that I am not good enough.
But the truth is deep down inside I always knew I am not good enough. That's why I never tried to publish-not just in a big platform, even in my college magazine I never tried to put it. Because as false as it was to consider myself to be a good poet, I never wanted to come out of that dream. And I still don't. At the end of the day how you are feeling should matter not what you've achieved. And for me I know it feels good to have this belief in my heart that I am a poet, even if I am not.
So where it all started? I don't know about others but I am definite that each and every bengali has tried their hands on writing at least once in their lives. I can't remember when did I first start writing. I remember I used to write only rhymed poems for a long time, that too very silly and childish. My free verse started with Mama's effort. I am not sure why he thought I was worth spending time on, as I can't find any good in my old writings. But it was a good effort I have to say. When I was in my Ninth class, just after we have moved to Barrackpore I wrote my first free verse poem. And I still find it good. :-D
Now, I am always one of those who can't be sure about even their own headache unless somebody else confirms it. So I needed validator. At first my whole family had to become so, thanks to my whining. As a loving and affectionate family they always found my work good. And I too started thinking the same. Then in college some of my friends were added to this validator's list. Mainly Pamela and Prosen. But then again Prosen finds anything and everything good in this world. And Pamela and others.......well they criticized, but never to the point where I could think that I am not good enough.
But the truth is deep down inside I always knew I am not good enough. That's why I never tried to publish-not just in a big platform, even in my college magazine I never tried to put it. Because as false as it was to consider myself to be a good poet, I never wanted to come out of that dream. And I still don't. At the end of the day how you are feeling should matter not what you've achieved. And for me I know it feels good to have this belief in my heart that I am a poet, even if I am not.
Monday, July 27, 2009
My arbit thoughts!
Three constraints of my life would be my wish, my like and my ability. Where for the most people these three are more or less similar, for me they are exactly three parallel lines which can never intersect. Funny thing is that these like and ability axes has one thing in common. They both seem to avoid most of the points of the feasible portion of this universal set. There are hardly any poor little notable thing which can satisfy either of these two. Whereas if you consider wish thoroughly from the time I blessed the world (or the other way) till now, it has covered almost everything that was seen or heard or sensed somehow. So if you really come to think about it, the three parallel lines concept doesn't really work here. Because as you see two of them tend to vanish and the other seemed to take too much of space to make a plane or something bigger instead.
So in a less weirder way what I am trying to say is,over the last twenty two (almost twenty three) years of my life I have somehow managed to develop dislike for every living and dead things in this universe. One new thing can keep me going for about 2 weeks or maybe 3. But then I am bored again or simply giving it up. Either way I end up at the same place where I started from or maybe even worse. This even holds me back while taking a decision. Because however tough I find it to look for things I like, I never have to think twice to find the things I despise. Well the conclusion is I know it's hard to be me. :-D
So in a less weirder way what I am trying to say is,over the last twenty two (almost twenty three) years of my life I have somehow managed to develop dislike for every living and dead things in this universe. One new thing can keep me going for about 2 weeks or maybe 3. But then I am bored again or simply giving it up. Either way I end up at the same place where I started from or maybe even worse. This even holds me back while taking a decision. Because however tough I find it to look for things I like, I never have to think twice to find the things I despise. Well the conclusion is I know it's hard to be me. :-D
Sunday, July 26, 2009
A loser!
I thought a lot before posting this one, because it's a bit/lot whining type. but hey, that's me bro. I am a whining girl. And moreover it's easier to write poem about sad things than joyful moments. you know what, whatever! :-)
Ma I don't wanna die anymore...
I die every night to live another day
Everyday I kill myself a bit!
I run till I hurt myself and still can't finish the race
I lose again and again to achieve something,I don't know what
and yet I can't quit
Am I a born loser
or is it just the game I never opted for?
Ma I don't wanna play anymore
I am tired of loosing,
and I don't know what to win.
I only wanna leave the ground,once and for all
with honor or with shame,
I wanna run and hide as well...
somewhere quiet and calm,somewhere green
Ma I wanna sleep now, like a little kid!
like win or loose doesn't matter, it's all percpective!
Let me just sleep now Ma, please!
Ma I don't wanna die anymore...
I die every night to live another day
Everyday I kill myself a bit!
I run till I hurt myself and still can't finish the race
I lose again and again to achieve something,I don't know what
and yet I can't quit
Am I a born loser
or is it just the game I never opted for?
Ma I don't wanna play anymore
I am tired of loosing,
and I don't know what to win.
I only wanna leave the ground,once and for all
with honor or with shame,
I wanna run and hide as well...
somewhere quiet and calm,somewhere green
Ma I wanna sleep now, like a little kid!
like win or loose doesn't matter, it's all percpective!
Let me just sleep now Ma, please!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Pretty as you were
This is the poem I came up with tonight. I am still working on the name....as of now it's 'pretty as you were'...
Let's put on the old jeans
and throw the last piece of loose tshirt on.
Make a hairdo like you couldn't care less,
Take a look into the reflection,
the resemblance of a long known person,
who was left alone somewhen unseen, unnoticed.
Now you walk down the road....to the highway...
Then to the south, north, east, west....
To every bit of this plastic city, where you couldn't be yourself
moving through the crowd,
whose material sickness you couldn't shake off your skin completely.......
…......
until now!
Cause now the cloud is clear,
now you've found yourself, found the faith that you've lost long way back.
Every want now can be turned to a can and then shall......
Every bit of plastic has been shaken off,
Now you are free.....free from the suffocating illusions..
free to use your torn jeans and old tshirt.....again!
Let's put on the old jeans
and throw the last piece of loose tshirt on.
Make a hairdo like you couldn't care less,
Take a look into the reflection,
the resemblance of a long known person,
who was left alone somewhen unseen, unnoticed.
Now you walk down the road....to the highway...
Then to the south, north, east, west....
To every bit of this plastic city, where you couldn't be yourself
moving through the crowd,
whose material sickness you couldn't shake off your skin completely.......
…......
until now!
Cause now the cloud is clear,
now you've found yourself, found the faith that you've lost long way back.
Every want now can be turned to a can and then shall......
Every bit of plastic has been shaken off,
Now you are free.....free from the suffocating illusions..
free to use your torn jeans and old tshirt.....again!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Yet Another Poem
নষ্টালজিয়া-
শুধু স্মৃতি নয়, একটা ভ্রম।
যা চলে গেছে, যা অতীত
-তার প্রতি অপারক, অন্তহীন ভালোবাসা।
যা চলছে-তা তো সত্যি, বাস্তব;
আর যা আসবে-তার কথা কে বলতে পারে!
তবু ধরা-ছোঁওয়ার বাইরে থেকেও
ধমনির গোড়ায় জাগিয়ে তুলতে পারে-দুঃসাহসিক উত্তেজনা।
কিন্তু অতীত-সেখানে শান্তি, সেখানে নিরাপত্তা।
একটা গোপন আশ্রয় নিজের থেকেও সংগোপনে রাখা,
আদ্যান্ত মগেজের শিরায় শিরায় চিত্রাঙ্কিত।
স্মৃতি বিস্মৃতির উষ্ণ গলিতে পালিয়ে যাওয়ার উন্মাদনা-
নষ্টালজিয়া।
শুধু স্মৃতি নয়, একটা ভ্রম।
যা চলে গেছে, যা অতীত
-তার প্রতি অপারক, অন্তহীন ভালোবাসা।
যা চলছে-তা তো সত্যি, বাস্তব;
আর যা আসবে-তার কথা কে বলতে পারে!
তবু ধরা-ছোঁওয়ার বাইরে থেকেও
ধমনির গোড়ায় জাগিয়ে তুলতে পারে-দুঃসাহসিক উত্তেজনা।
কিন্তু অতীত-সেখানে শান্তি, সেখানে নিরাপত্তা।
একটা গোপন আশ্রয় নিজের থেকেও সংগোপনে রাখা,
আদ্যান্ত মগেজের শিরায় শিরায় চিত্রাঙ্কিত।
স্মৃতি বিস্মৃতির উষ্ণ গলিতে পালিয়ে যাওয়ার উন্মাদনা-
নষ্টালজিয়া।
Sunday, March 8, 2009
কবিতা আবার তোমায় মনে পরলো
After a long break I somehow managed to write a poem. I know it's not worth posting. But it made me very satisfied & so wanted to share this moment. And c'mon who reads my blog anyway? :-)
Anywho, if you somehow come across this little piece, please share your opinion, coz it matters.
প্রথমে সব রঙগুলো উধাও হয়,
তারপর সাদাকালো উচ্ছিষ্টের
সাদা রঙেও কালচে পরে যায়।
এক রাশ ধুলো বালি ছেয়ে যায় কখন অযান্তে।
শরীর যত বৃদ্ধি পায় - আয়তনে, উচ্চতায়,
ততই সঙ্কীর্ন হয়ে পরে শরীরের একখানি ছোট্ট অংশ।
আশঙ্কার আতঙ্কে আশ্রয় নেয়,
আপাত সুরক্ষিত এক ছোট্ট কোটরে।
একদিন পাখি হয়ে উড়ে যেতে চেয়েছিল,
একদিন চেয়েছিল মাটির গন্ধ বুকে নিয়ে হারিয়ে যেতে কোথাও।
আজ নুরি পাথরকে পাহার বলে ভুল হয়,
শিশির বিন্দুতে খুঁজে নেয় প্রথম শ্রাবন ধারার তৃপ্তি।
আজ তার কাছে বাঁচার মানে-
মৃত্যু এখনো আসেনি।
Anywho, if you somehow come across this little piece, please share your opinion, coz it matters.
প্রথমে সব রঙগুলো উধাও হয়,
তারপর সাদাকালো উচ্ছিষ্টের
সাদা রঙেও কালচে পরে যায়।
এক রাশ ধুলো বালি ছেয়ে যায় কখন অযান্তে।
শরীর যত বৃদ্ধি পায় - আয়তনে, উচ্চতায়,
ততই সঙ্কীর্ন হয়ে পরে শরীরের একখানি ছোট্ট অংশ।
আশঙ্কার আতঙ্কে আশ্রয় নেয়,
আপাত সুরক্ষিত এক ছোট্ট কোটরে।
একদিন পাখি হয়ে উড়ে যেতে চেয়েছিল,
একদিন চেয়েছিল মাটির গন্ধ বুকে নিয়ে হারিয়ে যেতে কোথাও।
আজ নুরি পাথরকে পাহার বলে ভুল হয়,
শিশির বিন্দুতে খুঁজে নেয় প্রথম শ্রাবন ধারার তৃপ্তি।
আজ তার কাছে বাঁচার মানে-
মৃত্যু এখনো আসেনি।
Thursday, February 5, 2009
My Ultimate Home
Once I heard of a bird, can't remember the name. It moves from one place to another through out it's whole life, but finally, when it's time it comes back & die at the same place where it was born. It's funny how some human beings are no different from them. One of such kind is me.
I spent my childhood in a village, people hasn't heard of. All my 'first's took place there, at least from the time I can remember. The first touch of the sunlight, first feel of wintry breeze, first shed of tears, first innocent smile....everything that matters. Even I had some 'last's over there. I remember when I last time stole fruits from someone else's tree or played hide-n-seek in the fields or looked at the horizons & wondered what mystery was hiding there. In short, I had all memories of my dear childhood scattered around every corner of that place.
Then I was 13. It was time to move. To a better place, to a relatively town-far far away from my childhood memories. But I couldn't stay there for long either. 7 more years & I hit the open road again. This time all on my own. First it was for studies & now it's for job. But I am away-away from everything I started my journey with. Sometime it feels like I traveled a long road till here. So long that I don't resemble anything of whom I started as. But I know better. I know I still have much much longer way to run before I can rest. And this long run ain't gonna be any easy. But when I somehow manage to take a break from my busy, urban life to take some rest, and when I feel like I can use some sleep at home, I just close my eyes & only one picture comes to my mind- That shabby little,tree-surrounded, unfashionable house what I left almost a decade ago. Maybe because it's the first place I knew, or maybe because I didn't have to see it through an adult's eyes, but to me it's the most comforting place in the whole world. And one thing for sure- "it's to you, I'll always return".....
I hear the wind call my name
the sound that leads me home again
It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns
To you I'll always return....
I spent my childhood in a village, people hasn't heard of. All my 'first's took place there, at least from the time I can remember. The first touch of the sunlight, first feel of wintry breeze, first shed of tears, first innocent smile....everything that matters. Even I had some 'last's over there. I remember when I last time stole fruits from someone else's tree or played hide-n-seek in the fields or looked at the horizons & wondered what mystery was hiding there. In short, I had all memories of my dear childhood scattered around every corner of that place.
Then I was 13. It was time to move. To a better place, to a relatively town-far far away from my childhood memories. But I couldn't stay there for long either. 7 more years & I hit the open road again. This time all on my own. First it was for studies & now it's for job. But I am away-away from everything I started my journey with. Sometime it feels like I traveled a long road till here. So long that I don't resemble anything of whom I started as. But I know better. I know I still have much much longer way to run before I can rest. And this long run ain't gonna be any easy. But when I somehow manage to take a break from my busy, urban life to take some rest, and when I feel like I can use some sleep at home, I just close my eyes & only one picture comes to my mind- That shabby little,tree-surrounded, unfashionable house what I left almost a decade ago. Maybe because it's the first place I knew, or maybe because I didn't have to see it through an adult's eyes, but to me it's the most comforting place in the whole world. And one thing for sure- "it's to you, I'll always return".....
I hear the wind call my name
the sound that leads me home again
It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns
To you I'll always return....