It's been four days since my small visit to home. Not too long....but not too less either. When I look back to last sunday, the day before I left for Mumbai again, I realize that I was afraid of something without knowing what it was. In a bigger sense it looked like I was afraid of coming back, but I couldn't (or didn't try to) analyze the reasons behind it. But somebody just told me “to win a fear, you first need to give it a face”. Yeah, I admit- it's much easier to win when you know whom are you fighting with. As of now I can't tell that I won it, but at least I succeeded to develop a vague picture of my enemy.
Sometimes you need to re-visit the past to finally let it go. Or you can say it's more like a reverse psychology. When your past give a tap on your back and make you realize how close it is to you, you find moving on not such a bad idea anymore. That day sitting on flight, 35000ft above from the beautiful-and yet-scary earth, I was thinking how lucrative it was to live like old days again, to start for office everyday saying mom “ ma aschhi”, to return to the place called 'home' and speak out everything about that day to my beloved ones, to see my brother playing in comp or watching a movie together. But holding on is not that easy as it seems to. I may think of doing a lot of things to get that life back, I may even do them......but what I will end up with is hardly what I want. Life is like pawns in a chess, it has only moving forward and no coming back.
1 comment:
Good to see your blog!!! It is the right way to express yourself in this busy life. You know dear, life is a collection of examination... You have to face it on and on and on... And the result??? you cant even control by your hard work. Only you can do is accept the outcome... and learn how to live with that...
Any way, it is not easy for me to write so long in eng ;) wish you a goodluck for your jurney.. :)
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